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Girls, Running and Body Confidence

March 12, 2013 By Jayne Rodgers 7 Comments

baby bibi

Any parent reading this will know what an overwhelming responsibility hits you when you see your child for the first time. ‘This is so magical/blessed/beautiful/cosmic/wow’ etc – they’re the first kind of thoughts to flood your mind. Then comes the foreboding: ‘What if I get it all wrong?’

When Bibi was tiny (that’s her above; wasn’t she cute?!), I remember feeling completely daunted, wondering how on earth I could help this wonderful little creature grow up to be strong, confident and comfortable in her own skin. We – through the media cattle market, the lap dancing clubs on our high streets, the positioning of the famous and fashionable as role models – don’t send out great messages to girls about self worth. We make it all about their looks and, increasingly, about how insecure they should be about them. ‘Comfortable in your skin’ isn’t often promoted as a mainstream virtue these days.

Luckily, Bibi never seemed to struggle much with finding her own sense of style. She had questions, questions, questions like all little kids, including the pointing at newspapers and asking ‘Mummy, why does that lady have no clothes on?’

When she was little, she didn’t seem unduly influenced by peer pressure and, apart from the inevitable pink phase – has anyone ever discovered what that’s all about? – she wasn’t particularly interested in dressing just like her friends. While she didn’t mind what I dressed her in, she was quite the one for giving it a twist and had geek chic down to a fine art from an early age.

j and b aged 3

I’ll be honest, and I’m sure she’d agree, she wore some absolutely mental outfits as she was growing up but I didn’t ever want to impose my taste on her (especially given my own clothes in the photo above – though please don’t judge me too harshly, it was the 80s!)  And anyway she had some great outfits too – we all ride the roller coaster in the great funfair of fashion…

Helping her to keep this sense of ease with herself as she entered her teenage years was more of a challenge. In the face of relentless media obsession with boobs, booty-shaking and no obvious brains, it can be tough for girls as they grow into young women to be themselves and dress the way that they want to dress. Not to attract boys, or girls, or to be ‘cool’, but simply because they like what they’re wearing.

bibi monkey tee
‘But what does this have to do with running?’, I imagine you’re asking. Well, it’s been fascinating to see how Bibi has changed since she started running seriously. Obviously, it’s given her great muscle tone and improved her overall fitness (though I’m not suggesting for one second that she was a couch potato before). What’s really wonderful, though, is how much strength running has given her, physically but also psychologically. For example, after years of being a bunny run skier, on holiday recently she whizzed down red runs, because she really knows now what her body is capable of, plus she’s aware that she can push it further, and maybe faster too.

b blenheim cropped

It’s brilliant to see how her inner strength has been consolidated in recent years too. It could simply be coincidence, of course, but watching her build her career, enjoy her life and have fun, while dealing with difficulties that emerge with equanimity, I can see how much running contributes to that. She knows exactly what she’s capable of now (more or less anything) and doesn’t sweat the small stuff. If that’s not being comfortable in your own skin, I don’t know what is.

Related posts:

Edinburgh Half Marathon 2016 Race Report
How I Fell in Love with Running (and You Can, Too)
Run Your Best 10K Ever

Filed Under: Fitness, Running Tagged With: Running, What we get up to, women's sport

« Vegan Lentil Soup with Marmite Drizzle
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Comments

  1. Zoe Greig says

    March 12, 2013 at 5:41 pm

    I love this post! Is there anything cuter than baby bibi? I think not. Also SO into your 80s look Jayne, especially that amazing do’.
    xx!

    Reply
    • Janey says

      March 13, 2013 at 6:03 pm

      Thanks, Zoe! The do was an accident but I kinda grew to love it… 😉

      Reply
  2. Sally Rodgers says

    March 20, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Oooh. I love tiny Bibi’s groovy shorts!
    x

    Reply
  3. Kate says

    April 5, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    You sound like an amazing mum!

    Reply
    • Janey says

      April 5, 2013 at 12:52 pm

      Thank you so much – what a lovely thing to say!

      Reply
  4. Francesca says

    October 11, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    Janey I read your article with interest and I have to say this is my experience too: girls are bombarded by media and marketing messages these days, all about being sexy and beautiful, but I don’t like much the moral panic created around it as I am firmly convinced that the media influence is relatively powerless compared to the power of good parenting (with one element of it being parental mediation in the consumption of media – parents watching programs with their daughters and encourage critical thinking), good education and healthy, exciting endevours. This is also what my research with young girls seems to suggest: the girls more involved with extra-curricular activities or with a particular passion in their life were far less “sucked” into the beauty trap! As parents we have far more power that we actually think: ultimately we are the real role models our daughters grow up with. Through open dialogue, sharing experiences and a little sense of humour we can nurture that sense of belonging, confidence & purpose which make our girls and young women much more grounded and resilient in the face of marketing/media pressure. Thank you so much for your lovely constructive comment on my blog 🙂 Keep up the good work, I will keep reading you with interest! All the best, Francesca

    Reply
    • Jayne Rodgers says

      October 13, 2013 at 10:02 pm

      Hi Francesca, Thank you!I agree completely; I think girls’ real life role models are more important than those of mediated strangers. Good luck with your research. I look forward to reading more. Best, Janey ps we’re doing a mother-daughter marathon next weekend – Bibi definitely didn’t pick up on doing that from magazines! 😉

      Reply

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Award-winning food and fitness blog. One of The Guardian's Top 10 Vegetarian Blogs. Jayne and Bibi Rodgers - vegetarian runners, plant based fitness, mother-daughter, marathon running, veggie-cooking chatterboxes. Find out more

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